NPO publishes blog articles to inform and to stimulate conversation about issues of importance to NPO's mission. All blog articles express the opinions of the authors as individuals and do not necessarily reflect the views of National Parents Organization, its Board of Directors, or its executives.
Going to a Strip Club Is Domestic Violence?
"[Going to a strip club] is ABUSE. It is no different from hiring a hooker for sex except that you don't stick it in...the man did deserve an ashtray in his skull (or perhaps the loss of one important piece he needs to get excited for strippers)..." Syndicated columnist Amy Alkon (aka "The Advice Goddess") often emails me amazing stories, and this one is no exception. Recently one of Alkon's readers sent her the following letter: "My husband of two months has always treated me very well, and is usually thoughtful. But, one week before our wedding, he broke a promise. I hate the whole stripper thing, so he agreed to a coed party at a dueling piano bar. There was a strip club next door, but he promised he wouldn"t go in. All was well until I learned that he and his brother (who"s nothing but trouble) were at the strip club. I went over and went crazy and tossed an ashtray at his head. I was kicked out, they followed, and his brother yelled at me. I wanted to call off the wedding, but we still got married. Since then, I keep bringing this up and he keeps begging for forgiveness, saying he"d never been so drunk, and he didn"t know what he was doing. I just can"t understand how he could hurt me this way.--Still So Angry Inside" Alkon responded: "If your husband tossed an ashtray at your head, do you think he"d be describing himself as 'Still So Angry Inside' or 'Still In Court Trying To Get The Charges Reduced'? "It doesn"t take much for domestic violence against men to be taken seriously…usually, just a chalk outline where a man"s body used to be. The rest of the time, people tend to shrug it off or even find it cute: 'Well, well, well, she"s quite the firecracker!' Granted, male abusers can do much more damage with their fists, but put a heavy object in a woman"s hands, and good morning brain damage!" Alkon then received the letter below: "I just had to write back over this one. My mother sends me your articles and this one just set me off. Just like the woman whose husband went to a strip club, so did my husband of 10 years (we have 3 kids together). I have to say that I had much the same reaction as she did. I do not advocate any type of abuse from either side of a relationship, but going to a strip club IS JUST THAT....ABUSE. It is no different from hiring a hooker for sex except that you don't stick it in. I find it disgusting that you attack this woman for her reaction, and then advocate this strip club behavior as 'normal'...I think the man did deserve an ashtray in his skull ( or perhaps the loss of one important piece he needs to get excited for strippers)...This behavior should not be legal ANYWHERE..." Alkon's full post, including her response, can be seen here. [Note: If you or someone you love is being abused, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families.]